When I was younger, I tried impressing an acquaintance, a friend, or a boyfriend by buying things in an attempt to achieve happiness. I didn’t know what happiness really was so I kept a lifestyle where I overspent and overspent in order to attain it. I could never catch up because being close to what gave me a sense of more lasting happiness meant that I had to move cities and get really uncomfortable. So I thought without really realizing it, “if I try a little harder impressing so and so, then I will reach happiness here (at the city where I lived in).” I didn’t tell myself that with those exact words, but looking back, that’s how I behaved.
It wasn’t until I changed cities and moved closer to my mom and found a very nice, communicative, and unflashy boyfriend that I started understanding what being happy all the time really feels like. As a consequence, now, I save a lot because I am not busy buying things trying to impress a bunch of people, which besides hurting my wallet, it was exhausting.
Happiness comes in different forms. In my case, changing cities and being close to my mom, and finding my new boyfriend is what gave me a sense of lasting happiness, but that may not be the case for you. Other relationships might give you that.
We want what we don’t have to impress people we probably don’t even like. In today’s world, a fancy car and a big house are the standards of success. But is that what it’s really about? It really isn’t. It’s about contentment or happiness. If you’re really content or happy with who you are surrounding yourself with, you’re likely not going to be on the lookout for the next best thing that will bring you happiness.
Keeping up with the Joneses can lead to financial disaster and keep you unhappy because:
- You will go into debt because that’s the only way you feel like you can keep up.
- You will have a loan or credit card payment for everything because that’s the only way you can keep “affording” everything that is above what you should reasonably spend.
- You won’t have any money left for retirement, an emergency fund, etc. because you’re spending it all on things you do not need.
One question that we should ask ourselves when overspending to keep up with the Joneses is WHY we want to keep up with the Joneses. What makes their life so much better than ours that we feel the need to overspend to keep up with the image of success?
Figuring out the answer to this question can help us analyze why we have feelings of inadequacy or/and unhappiness that we keep trying to fill with things to impress the Joneses in our life. If we don’t figure out the answer, we most likely will end in a vicious cycle of overspending until we reach financial disaster or simply put, become broke.
It really comes down to what makes us content, happy, or what we care about. So we should ask ourselves, “what relationships make and keep us happy? And, what do we care about? If we are content and happy in general with the relationships we are in, we are less prone to overspend on the latest gadget or a new car, for example, when what we have is meeting our needs just fine.
It also comes down to if saving is important for us. Do we have any financial goals that we would like to meet? And if we do, are we emotionally content enough to have the motivation to meet them?
So what the Joneses are spending on doesn’t make their decision-making better or worse than ours. Everyone is different. What matters is what are our personal GOALS and what can afford and fit into our BUDGET.
If you don’t have a budget, do the quick exercise of putting one together. I have a video that can help you if you don’t know where to start –> Budget with me in Excel – Building a Personal Budget & Setting Financial Goals, and a budget and goal automated Excel schedule. Putting one together for the average month and the year can clearly give us an idea of where our big-spending areas are and where we are overspending and buying things that we probably shouldn’t.
Related:
- 10 Important Lessons from Stoic Philosophy On Happiness, Gratitude & More
- How To Create A Budget
- How To Become Rich
Leave a Reply